I feel like I haven’t talked to you guys in a while – which is weird because by talking I mean writing, and posting some thoughts for you to read. Most people don’t realize the time that goes in to blogging until they actually start to do it themselves, and find themselves first pleasantly surprised by the fact that people are actually reading and commenting and then eagerly awaiting their feedback and approval with each successive post. [I admit it, I secretly love comments.] However today I feel as though you have been waiting to hear from me. I have been posting regularly and doing my best to keep up with sharing new work, but I don’t think I’ve been very present on the blog. To add to that fact, I haven’t been very good with communication in general with close friends and family so I feel all the more reason to have a conversation with them – and everyone else at the same time.
So, how have things been? Truthfully they’ve been hard. I count myself lucky to have creative work to keep me busy which is probably why I have a hard time saying no to things. I have taken on a few ventures that have a greater risk for failure, and while that also means there is more opportunity to succeed I have put a lot of pressure on myself in the process. I have had to readjust priorities and spend less time on some things in order to get work done and honor commitments I have made.
Where am I going with this, you ask.
I know what it is like to look at someone and think that from an outside perspective, they have an ideal life. They have it all together, how are they so creative and interesting, and why is it that everything goes right for them? Or perhaps I’m looking at a facebook page, blog or website and I see someone’s work… and become jealous of what they are doing. The great thing about the internet is that it connects us so easily, but in doing so it also allows us to be so much more critical of ourselves and each other. You can say something about another person a lot more quickly when you aren’t saying it to their face. You can make judgements about what a person is like by reading about what they put online… but that is never the whole story.
I’m not trying to convince you that my life to terrible. On the contrary. However, while you would think it would be obvious that things are not always great for me, either, if you were to look at the posts I put up you might get confused. Sure, I post every once in a while about delicious food but 5/7 nights a week I don’t want to cook and have no idea what to make. I also sometimes put a picture up of a fun outfit to prove to the world – and mostly myself – that despite working at home and living in sweatpants purgatory most mornings, I can get dressed up and look good. Sometimes I travel for photography and get to enjoy being in a different location and meeting a lot of fun and interesting people, but I also spend hours in a car and meet a lot of boring people. Finally, I take a lot of good – and sometimes great – pictures of people but I also take bad ones. I just don’t show them to you.
I think part of the appeal and mystery of being a wedding photographer is that life looks the same for the photographer as the people in the photos. [Am I reading in to that, or would you agree?] I don’t want to burst your bubble, unless you want to, but there is nothing but hard work behind doing everything I can to make people look relaxed, at ease and effortlessly beautiful.
So here’s to success – and failure – and trying in the first place.